The Past Is A Pain
by HuntingFantasyThroughFiction
Summary: Everyone has had their fair share of pain in their past. Alec pulls away from people he trusts, never getting close. Magnus avoids anything about his parents. The two turn to each other for help, but is that the only reason? AU. AH. Mainly Malec. Some Sizzy and Clace.
1. New School, New Room-mate

**A/N: This is my first fan-fiction. I know it isn't the best but I hope you like it. I'll try to update as often as I can but I already have a busy schedule, I promise whatever I have will have a 5,000 words minimum. This was really difficult to start, so it may seem stiff and I apologize for that. Also I am British and do not know how American schools work so if I make a mistake on how the schools are, I would appreciate it if someone tells me. Also this is AU and possible OOC.**

**There will be characters from The Infernal Devices, for example, Will, Jem, Tessa, and Cecily.**

**I also want to thank everyone on Facebook who helped me with my ideas of some of my houses, Spiral Labyrinth, for example.**

**Chapter Music:**

**Magnus' flashback- Lie To Me by 12 Stones**

**Alec's first flashback- Whataya Want From Me by Adam Lambert**

**Alec's second flashback- If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback**

**These are the songs that inspired certain parts.**

****Warning: Foul Language, homophobia, Violence.****

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments or any of the characters. All rights for TMI go to Cassandra Clare.**

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><p><strong><span>Chapter 1- New School, New Room-mate.<span>**

NPOV

This school has four houses; Alicante, Dumont, SL, and Praetor. If you are in Dumont or Praetor, you are considered popular. If you are in SL you are average, you are not hated but not considered overly popular. If you are placed in Alicante then you are considered to be an outcast and it is incredibly difficult to be popular, although there have been cases of students being considered popular.

Let's start with Dumont. It was originally changed from Dumont House to Hotel Dumont, since the residents of the house felt like house made it feel permanent while hotel made it seem like they were only staying temporary. The residents of the house gained the nickname Bloodsuckers, or vampires, since a lot of students from this house go on to become successful business men (and women) and own major corporations. The sign was vandalised the sign so now it reads Hotel Dumort, which translates to Hotel of the Dead. It suits their nickname, don't you think? Most residents of this house happen to go to this school because their parents can effortlessly afford it.

The next is Praetor House. This is where the athletes are placed. The students in this house have a squad of seniors who are elected to help new students. The students ended up calling this squad Praetor Lupus.

The third is SL house. It's short for Spiral Labyrinth house. This is where the pupils who are on a scholarship go. Students placed in this house are called Warlocks. It can be a part or a full-scholarship.

The last is Alicante House. This house is where the misfits are placed. You are generally only placed in this one if your parents request it, mainly because the media stays away from this house. If you do not suit either of the above houses, you could be placed in this one, although that is very uncommon.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Magnus' POV<span>**

That kid. He's new. How do I know that? You may ask, well the main reason is that I don't know him. I know everyone here, at Idris Academy, or as I like to call it- Hell. That's what school is like for me.

The main reason that school is like is because I am gay, actually I'm bisexual. It doesn't help that I look like the stereotypical gay kid. I am what people call flamboyant, and sometimes that is a bad thing, but it is who I am so I am proud about it. I have been called everything, including fag, slut and whore. When my father found out he pretty much disowned me.

_**Flashback**_

'_Father, I have to tell you something.'_

_I knew today wasn't a good idea, considering he was drunk. 'What is it boy? It better be important!'_

_I take a deep breathe 'I'm gay.' A glass bottle flew at me._

'_I want you gone!'_

'_But…' He cut me off._

'_I want you to never come back here again!'_

_A Glass bottle flew at me, narrowly missing me, smashing when it hits the wall behind me. I flinch. My father was always drunk nowadays._

'_Father…' Another bottle flew at me and hit me in the face. I stopped calling him Dad a while ago; he may be my father but he was never my dad. It was quite clear the feeling was mutual. _

_My father raises his fist. In a blink of an idea, it collides with my face._

'_You are not my son!' He punches me again. 'My son would not be a faggot!'_

_The last punch lands me on the floor. He stops punching me, and for a second I was stupid enough to believe it was over. I tried to stand when I suddenly became winded. My father repeatedly kicked me._

'_You're the reason she is dead! It's your fault'_

_Everything went black._

_**End of Flashback_**

School doesn't start for a couple of days but students are here early. The main reason students are early is that this school is also a boarding school.

At this school you are split into two halves. You are either here on a scholarship or your parents are rich. The ones who are here through money are considered higher than the scholarship students; they are considered the popular ones. They are often arrogant bastards. I happen to be one of these students. People only put up with me because I throw the best parties, not to be conceited or anything.

I was taking the remaining of my bags into Alicante House, which is the house I was placed in, when I saw this new student. I couldn't tell much from the distance. I did notice his striking black hair, though. He was being shown round by a good friend of mine, Clarissa Fray. With him, there were two others. I presume they are siblings. The new students don't look like freshman, heck, if I had to guess I would say they look like seniors. If this is true, they will be the talk of the school when everyone finds out about them.

I'm walking past them, when I get too close and knock into mystery student – accidentally, of course – and he flinches. I pretend not to notice, and keep walking.

I stop beside the door which leads to my room. It belonged to me and my ex room-mate, Ragnor Fell. He is my ex room-mate as he transferred schools last year, when I was a sophomore. It's been just me in my room ever since.

I look at the sign on my door, stating whose room it is. My custom sign has been taken and replaced. I'm getting a new room-mate. _This is not happening, _I think, I've_ got a student in my room, MY ROOM! _I don't believe it. I nearly made it without having to share my room with a stranger.

_**Room 203**_

_**Magnus Bane and Jonathan Herondale**_

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><p><strong><span>Alec's POV<span>**

I'm leaning against a wall, I feel trapped. I feel myself trembling.

'Guy's back up. He needs space.'

_Thank you, Jace,_ I think.

Breathe. In, out, in, out. My breathing became harsher.

'Alec…Alec….Alec, you need to calm down.'

I began to feel light-headed. There were spots in my vision.

_**Flashback**_

'_Sweet, Sweet, Alexander. Your parents wouldn't be too happy to know your secret, would they?'_

_He let out a menacing laugh. I gulp and try to back up. It was difficult, though, considering my hands and legs have been tied. I just now notice that I have been gagged. _

'_Your parents wouldn't be too please if they knew you secret, would they?'_

_I turn my head away. He runs up and places a hand on my jawline, turning my face to look at him._

'_I said, would they?' He raised his fist and directed it at my face. 'Answer me, damn it'_

_I shook my head, not knowing what else to do. _

_**End of Flashback**_

My breathing was slowly going back to normal. My heart was still racing, though.

'Alec, are you okay now?' I hear Jace ask. He had crouched down beside me. I try to stand, but have to quickly sit back down as I still feel light-headed.

I look over and see Izzy trying to explain to that annoying red head, that Jace had happened to have been flirting with, what had happened. She looked paler than earlier. It's clear she was freaked out. Another person to add to the listen of people who think I'm a freak.

Jace stands up. 'Do you need some more time? Izzy and I are being shown the main building by Clary,' so that's what the red head's name is. 'Do you want join us or do you want to stay and unpack your bags, or rather, bag.' I shake my head.

'I'm going to stay and unpack, Jace, you go ahead. I'll get another student to show me around!' I state, _though I don't know where I am going to find another student to show me around, I only really know the annoying red-head. _

Jace grabs both my bag and his bags. 'Remember, if you need to speak to me, no matter how late, I am in room 203.' I nod my head. He places something in my hand. 'That's the spare key I was given for my room. Don't bother knocking, come straight in.'

Jace stops outside the room across the hall from his. I felt myself beginning to shake as I read the sign on my door. I begin counting down from 10.

'10…9…8…This isn't happening…7…'

**Room 205**

**Simon Lewis and Alexander Lightwood**

'2…1…My breathing pattern is beginning to go back to normal...'

'I can't believe it!' I hear Jace mutter. _Yeah, I can't either, Jace. _

'There has to be a mistake, you requested a private room!'

Jace begins to pace back-and-forth. 'I'll be fine, Jace.' Jace scoffs.

'That's what you said last time. Do you remember what happened last time, Alec? Do you?'

_**Flashback**_

_I looked over at my roommate. We decided to work on our homework together, for once. My room-mate didn't know this, as far as I'm aware, but I was attracted to him. He was the first guy I had been attracted to since the incident. _

_I walked over and sat next to him. 'Sebastian, I have something I have to tell you.' Sebastian turned to face me. _

_He was taller, and more muscular, than me. He can be so serious, and I trust him. I know he would protect me. I think that is_

'_What? Did you finally get a girlfriend?' I role my eyes 'It is pathetic watching you sitting alone while all the other guys have girlfriends.'_

'_Sebastian, I don't have a girlfriend, and I never will-' he cut me off._

'_Don't think like that Alec. Just because no girls are attracted to you right now, doesn't mean you will never have one,' _

'_Are you really that oblivious?! I'm gay and I really like you, as in I like like you.'_

_I didn't mean for it to come out like that._

'_My room-mate is a fag…my room-mate is a fag…Oh my god! My room-mate is a fag. I bet you stare at my junk while I change!'_

_I scoff. 'I really don't.'_

_'Don't lie to me, you faggot. I know you do!'_

_I'm not even fazed by the name he keeps calling me repeatedly, after all, he isn't the first person to call me it and I know he won't be the last. _

_He turns towards me and punches me in the jaw. This knocks me to the floor. _

'_That is for being a disgusting fag' he practically yells._

_My heart rate is increasing. My thoughts are going cloudy. All I know is that someone's stormed into the room. I don't what is going on. _

_I'm being guided out of the room, by Izzy, I think. The last sentence I remember hearing was 'Don't you dare lay a hand on my brother, ever!'_

_**End of Flashback**_

'That was my fault!'

Jace rolls his eyes.

'Alec look at me,' I turn to face him 'that wasn't your fault, it was his. Don't tell yourself otherwise.'

He goes and unlocks the door. Turning back to face me, he says 'If he gives you any trouble, remember, tell me. I can't do anything unless you tell me.' I nod my head.

Jace and I enter my room, and I sighed in relief. My room-mate looked like a massive nerd, so hopefully, fingers crossed; I would not have to deal with someone who was physically stronger than me, although I should know by now not to judge a book by its cover. I look towards the messy side of the room to find a guy playing on a game's console.

I can tell Jace has relaxed as well.

My room-mate noticed me enter and dropped his games console to greet me. He ran up and held out his hand. I flinched as he lifted at, but pretended I didn't react as I walk past and look around the room, which is a bomb-site. He slowly drops his hand, and I can see Jace glaring at him. Jace walks over to the clean part of the room and dumps my bag on the bed before turning to face 'my room-mate'.

I roll my eyes as Jace threatens him. 'Hurt him, and you will live to regret it.'

Jace is about to leave when he turns back and says 'Alec, remember to come find me if you need anything.'

He walks out of my room, I see my room-mate relax.

'You must be Alexander, my room-mate!' my room-mate, what was his name? I can't remember, says.

'It's Alec, not Alexander.' I snap, while walking to where my bag is and open it.

'Okay Al…ec, Alec, I'm Simon, your room-mate-' so that's what his name was '-and apparently there was a mix-up and you could not be given your own room so you get to bunk with me.'

I sigh. _Great, just what I need. He won't survive a week with me as his room-mate._

I shake my head. 'This can't be happening'

'Well…erm… Alec, it…erm…is' He laughs; 'If it makes you feel better, your brother…erm… has already threatened me, and I would rather not get on his…erm… his bad side' I chuckle. I knew I should act less hostile, especially If I have to spend a year in the same room as him.

'That's probably a good idea.' He smiles.

He nods and says 'Now we have that sorted, do you need some help?'

I turn away from him and mumble 'Thanks, but no thanks.'

I go and unlock my bag. I roll my eyes, as I pull out the pepper spray which was jammed at the top of my bag. I hear Simon gasp and say 'Is that what I think it is?'

'Pepper spray?' Simon nods his head. 'Then, yes, it is.'

'Do I want to know why you have that?' Simon seems nervous. I laugh.

'You can thank my great brother for that.' I say in a sarcastic tone. 'He sometimes forgets that I can handle myself just fine. '

Simon sighs and says 'He really cares about you.'

I laugh and say 'He does, each of my siblings do, although sometimes I feel like they are wrapping me in bubble wrap. They act like I'm fragile and I hate it.'

Simon laughs. 'At least he…they…. Care about you, my sister doesn't give a damn about me...' He suddenly stops talking and it looks like he is thinking. 'Wait, you have more than one?'

I laugh. 'Last time I checked yes, Jace, Isabelle, and Max. Max is the only one who doesn't go to this school.'

He looks like he is processing what I am saying and then I watch as he takes a deep breath and asks 'Are they all as scary as Jace?' This causes me to laugh. I grab some shirts and stuff them in my wardrobe. 'No, Izzy is worse, especially if you call her Isabelle. Max is too nice to be scary, buy him a comic and he will trust you.' _That's why I'm worried about him. _Simon nods his head. He goes back and grabs his game console, which was still on his bed.

I pull out the last shirt in my bag, and find it is wrapped around a box of condoms and lube, with the note 'I knew you would bring them. That's why I made a swap when you were not looking, From Jace.' I roll my eyes.

'I'm going to kill him one of these days, especially if he keeps doing things like this!'

Simon looks up and gives me a questioning look. 'Is that…' I cut him off.

'Yes, yes it is. You can thank Jace for that.' I stuff them in drawer of my bedside table. I grab my phone to send Jace a very angry text, when I see I have one unread text.

_Jace: I presume by now you have found the gift. You're welcome. ;)_

I roll my eyes and am about the respond when I get another text.

_Jace: Don't bother trying to respond, I am turning my phone off._

I sigh. _Of course he knew that was what I was planning on doing._

I place my phone down, and grab the spare key for Jace's room.

'I'll be back in a bit, Simon; I need to go pay Jace a visit.'

* * *

><p><strong><span>Magnus' POV<span>**

I hear someone unlocking the door to my room, yes, MY ROOM!

I don't get to see who it is as I am in the bathroom, working on my glitter, but I do hear my new room-mate make a comment of 'Wow, it's like a unicorn threw up in here'. I sigh. _Great, I have a homophobic room-mate. _

I exit the bathroom to find my room-mate has already gone. I look around and the only evidence he was in here was the bags, which he dumped on the spare bed. I'm about to go and carry on working on my hair when I see Clarissa out of the corner of my eye. She is heading towards the main building, but I notice, the mystery guy isn't there. _Well that's a surprise. I wonder where he is. _

I grab my phone, which was making an annoying quacking noise, the noise to show I got a text. **(AN: That's my ringtone, it is quite hilarious when it goes off in serious situations. It's happened before, trust me.) **I picked it up and saw it was a text from my good friend Tessa.

_Tessa: Will gets on my nerves so much! Oh, are you going to the annual back to school party?_

I roll my eyes. She clearly has forgotten who she was talking to, or rather who was texting.

_Me: Darling, it's a party._

_Tessa: So…that's a yes?_

_Me: Are you taking William or James?_

_Tessa: Not you too?! I already got that from Sophie and Jessamine!_

I chuckle. It was fun tormenting her, considering it was really easy.

_Me: I'm just teasing, darling._

_Tessa: Whatever. By the way, I'm outside your room, let me in. _

_Me: Okay going to the door now._

I chuckle as I walk towards the door. I open it up to find Tessa standing outside holding two dresses.

'It's great to see you again, Tessa. Come in.'

She enters my room and places her dresses on my bed. She turns to me pleadingly and asks 'Which looks better?' I walk towards the dresses to examine them. There was a pale blue, and a peach. 'Tessa, darling, I love you and everything, but these dresses are atrocious. What's the third option?'

'Why would you presume I had a third option?'

I roll my eyes. 'Because it is you, Tessa, and these are not your style. If it was guessing I would say Jessamine picked these out.'

'Well you guessed right, Jessamine picked these out. Here is the one I liked.' She pulled out a dark red dress that goes to the mid thighs. I gasp. 'Tessa, this is perfect. It's not too long and not too short either. The colour is amazing on you as well.'

She smiles. 'You think?'

'Yes, I do.'

'Great.'

I direct her towards the bathroom. 'Go try it on, Tessa; I want to see how it looks on you!' She heads off into the bathroom and comes out minutes later wearing the dress. 'I was right; you do look perfect with it on!'

She smiles. 'Thanks for the help, Magnus. I would have ended up wearing the peach or blue one without this.'

'It was no problem. Now tell me, James or William?'

She laughs. 'Not this again. Magnus, I'm not taking Either!'

I am about to make a comment on that when I hear the lock on my door unlocking.

'Tessa, you are about to meet my new room-mate. From what I have heard from him, he seems pretty homophobic'

Tessa rolls her eyes. 'What did he say?'

Before I can answer, the door is open and mystery boy walks in. Great, obviously I'd be attracted to a homophobic guy.

'Jace, what the hell did you think you were doing…you're not Jace' He says. I roll my eyes.

'No, I don't know a Jace.' I hear him grumble before walking in. 'I presume you're my room-mate'

He walks right past me and goes to the bags on the spare bed.

He turns to face me. 'No, I'm not your room-mate.' I sigh. He opens one and begins to empty it.

Tessa stands up. 'I better be going, Magnus. I'll speak to you later.' She walks out and leaves me with the mystery guy.

He empties two bags before he found what, I presume, he was looking for. I saw him grab a black t-shirt and place it under his arm.

_Why come in here just for a t-shirt? _

'Is there a specific reason you are in my room then? If not get out.' I stand up to escort him out. When suddenly something goes through my mind, _how did he get into the room?_

'If you see Jace tell him I'm looking for him!' I can't let him just leave, so naturally, I grab him by his arm.

The next few moments go by quickly. He pulls away and I notice his body is shaking. His breathing quickens. He looks considerably paler. I take a step towards him, whilst he takes a step back. He is pressed up against the wall. I notice him counting. '9…8…7…' I take a step forward and notice tears streaming down his face.

At that moment my door opens and the two I saw him with earlier enter. 'Alec!' I am pushed out the way as the blonde tries to approach. I am confused over what is going on. I hear the blonde talk to the mystery guy, Alec, 'Calm down, count from 10. Start counting again.' I see he is calming down. I wonder what has happened to someone so angelic to have that sort of reaction to being grabbed. I remember his reaction to being touched earlier. _Oh God! I wonder if he had this reaction earlier?!_

The blonde turned to me. 'What did you do?' It was almost a growl.

'Why do you think I did something?'

He laughs, and states, as if it was obvious, that 'he doesn't get like this unless someone does something, and you are the only one in the room!'

'I only grabbed his arm; I wouldn't have done it if I knew he would react like that!'

The blonde guy, who I presume is Jace, scoffs. He turns away for a second, before turning back and punching me in the jaw. 'Grab him again and I will make you regret it.'

I watch as Jace walks over to Alec and grabs the black t-shirt. He opens it slightly and I see inside it there are three razor blades. I knew instantly what they were for. Jace shakes his head as he places the black t-shirt, with the razorblades inside, back in his bag. Why would Alec want the razorblades? Now from what I can tell, they probably belong to Alec. If they were Jace's he would definitely not go around in a t-shirt, with his wrists on display. _What could make Alec do such a thing though? No, I'm jumping to conclusions. For all I know, they could be Jace's but he doesn't use them any-more. _

I watch as the girl helps Alec up and back to his room.

Jace was starting to walk out the room, when he turned back and said 'I don't want you talking to Alec again, do you hear me?' I nod. 'Good!' He slams the door on his way out.

I shake my head and throw myself onto my bed. 'Well, my room-mate hates me, Alec-' even his name sounds angelic '-fears me!' I get up and start to get ready to go to the main hall when I receive a text from Tessa.

_Tessa: You didn't tell me your room-mate was Will's cousin!_

_Me: He is? They don't look related._

_Tessa: Well, they are. Also, what happened between you and Alec once I left?_

_Me: Tessa, dear, how do you know that was Alec?_

_Tessa: I've met him before, once, when I went with Will, Cecily, Gabriel, and Gideon, to a family get-together- including Jem, obviously._

_Me: Obviously. You didn't think to tell me, or warn me, at least. I'll be down for dinner in 10 minutes, okay?_

_Tessa: Okay, I'll save you a seat. BTW, be careful. Alec is sensitive._

_Me: Too late now, I know. I'll be down soon._

I am adding the finishing touches to my hair, when I receive another text.

_Will: What the hell did you do to my cousin?! He is pacing back-and-forth in my room complaining how 'his room-mate is a fucking twat'; care to explain what you did? _

_Me: I might have caused Alec to have a panic attack. I'll explain at dinner. Be down in 5._

_Will: You better._

I head towards the cafeteria. Tessa waves me over; I walk over and sit across from her, knowing that Will and Jem will want to sit next to her. I pull out the 'food', if that is even what you would call it, and started eating. Not too long later, Will and Jem sit either side of Tessa. 'Hello William, Hello James.'

'Okay Magnus, what the hell did you do to my cousin? It took me five damn minutes just to get him to stop pacing and form a sentence and another 10 to leave.'

I sigh. 'I grabbed him, how was I supposed to know he would freak out over it?!' I hear Tessa gasp and Will was speechless, which was completely unusual. Jem was just shaking his head.

'Magnus, why did you grab him?' I turn to Tessa.

'He was leaving; I was just trying to get his attention!'

Will shakes his head. 'Haven't you ever tried asking someone to wait?'

'Will, Magnus, shut up.' I turn and am shocked to hear that coming from Jem, and clearly Will is too. It doesn't take me too long to realize why though as Clary, Clary's annoying friend, Jace, and the girl who I presume is Alec's sister, sit down at the table. Alec doesn't come. This disappoints me, slightly.

'Hello Jem, Will, Tessa. Great to see you all again,' I hear Jace say.

'Hello Jace,' I hear Jem reply, 'good to know you stopped pacing around the room.'

Jace laughs. I notice Will and Tessa had gotten into a deep conversation about books they re-read over the summer, which is a conversation that won't end anytime soon.

Alec's sister turns to me. 'Now, I was told by Alec to put what happened behind us, so, I'm sorry you had to see that.' I let out a sigh of relief, thankful that Alec didn't hate me.

I turn to the girl. 'I'm fine, it is fine; the name's Magnus.' The girl smiled.

'Isabelle, but please call me Izzy.'

'Well, Izzy, it's nice to meet you.'

Izzy moves and sits in the empty seat next to me. 'Now tell me, what is with the house leaders?'

I laugh 'Each house votes in a senior to be the leader. Dumont's leader is hand-picked by the previous leader. Last year, the leader was Camille Belcourt, a good friend of mine, and she picked Raphael Santiago to be the leader this year.' I look at Izzy to check that she is keeping up. 'Praetor is currently having an election; it is between Maia Roberts and Jordan Kyles. It's funny they have a rivalry, yet there is some clear sexual tension between the two. If they sorted that out everything else would be so much clearer.' I laugh. 'SL, it selects the senior with the highest IQ. I don't know, or quite frankly care, who the leader of this house is.'

'It's Catarina.' Jem stated, like it was common knowledge.

'What?'

'Catarina Loss is the senior in charge on SL this year.'

'She is? That bitch. Catarina didn't tell me, I need to have a word with her later…anyway, Alicante normally has a prefect, but one is yet to be chosen.'

'There is one.' I let out a sigh.

'Jem, if there was, I think I would know.'

This time it's Clary who speaks up. 'Actually there is, trust me, I should know.'

'Well why don't you enlighten me with your knowledge, and tell me who it is.'

Clary shrugs her shoulders 'Jon.'

'Jon, your brother is the prefect?'

'Yes. He wouldn't shut up about all summer.'

Izzy casually says 'I want to remind you guys that I'm still here.'

'Sorry Izzy.' I apologize.

Jem turns to Jace and asks the question I am sure we were all thinking. 'Is Alec joining us?'

Jace laughs. 'You know how Alec is about public spaces. I'm supposed to bring food back for him.'

'Ah yes, sorry. I forget these things. I presume he won't be joining us to Pandemonium at the end of the week then?'

Jace shakes his head. 'No, it's too crowded in there. You know how he gets.'

'Yes, sorry.'

'It's fine, don't apologize.' Jace grabs throws the remains of his food in the trash 'Izzy, I'm going!'

The girl, whose name I now know is Izzy, grabs her coffee and uneaten salad, and leaves. That whole family is a mystery.

'Wait, Will, you said Jace was your cousin.'

Will nods his head 'Yes, I do believe I said that multiple times.'

'Does that mean you are related to Alec?' He laughs, He seriously laughs, at me!

'No Magnus, I am not related to Alec!' He rolls his eyes 'Jace is his adoptive brother.'

* * *

><p><strong><span>Alec's POV<span>**

I made my way into the gym. I walked over to the treadmill and put incline at maximum.

I don't know how long I was running but I kept pushing. I knew by now not to stop. If I stopped I wouldn't be able to protect any of my siblings. I must be like this for half an hour before I stop. I grab my stuff and head to grab my bag.

I get back to Alicante house to find Jace waiting outside for me, he has his pissed off face on. 'Where the hell have you been?'

'I didn't realize I had to tell you whenever I went somewhere.'

I probably should have done, he does deserve to know.

'Alec, you could have at least picked up the phone when I called. A text would have been fine!'

I didn't realize anyone called me. I pull out my phone and see I hadn't turned it back on since leaving the gym. I turned it on and saw that I had multiples missed calls and several texts.

_Jace: Where are you?_

_Jace: Seriously, where are you?_

_(You missed a call from Jace)_

_Jace: Bloody hell, Alec! Answer the damn phone!_

_Jace: Alec, where the fuck are you?_

_(You missed a call from Jace)_

_Izzy: Jace told me to text you. Answer the damn phone, Alec! I'm serious!_

_(You missed a call from Izzy)_

_Jace: I'm waiting outside for you to return. If you are not back by curfew, I'm call the police, or worse, our parents._

He was clearly worried about me, this makes me feel guilty, and I will send him a quick text next time.

'I was just at the gym. I'll text you next time, better?'

Jace sighs. I send him a text.

_Me: I'm sorry. I was at the gym. I'll tell you next time, I promise. Don't call our parents, I beg!_

Jace reaches into his pocket as his phone vibrates. He rolls his eyes as he sees the text is from me. He reads it and laughs. 'Okay I forgive you. I won't call our parents'.

'We have an hour before curfew, I've been invited to play video games with Simon and Clary, do you want to join me?'

I laugh. 'Well the game consoles are in mine and Simon's room so I don't have much choice, do I?'

Jace shakes his head. 'I don't suppose you do. Is that a yes?'

I smile, for the first time in forever and say 'that's a yes.' I pull him towards the house. 'I'm going to kick your ass, though!'


	2. Night Terrors

**AN: I started writing this straight after I finished the previous one. I have to apologize as I don't exactly know what I am doing with this story. **

**I want to thank my friend, who attempted to help with a part; even if you did only suggest two names which were either a name of a character already made or one of my own, who have not appeared yet.**

**I also have to warn you, there is a lot of swapping of POV's.**

**Songs that inspired this chapter:**

**Alec's first POV: Leave out all the rest by Linkin Park**

**Alec's second POV: This Dark Day by 12 Stones**

**Magnus' third POV: World so Cold by 12 Stones**

**The music that inspires it changes, it depends on what I am writing it on. If it is my laptop, the music comes from my phone. If it is my computer, I use spotify on my computer. The music on my phone is mainly rock while the music from my computer ranges from every genre.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI (Or TID) or any of the characters in it… I wish…If I did there would be less Clace and Sizzy, and more Malec. :3 I also don't own **_**The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression.**_

_**Warnings at the bottom!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 2- Night Terrors<strong>_

_**Alec's POV**_

'_Keep going. This is Amazing!' _

_He was starting to speed up inside me, going harder, faster. It hurt. _

'_Are you sure you haven't done this before, Alexander?'_

_Tears were rolling down my cheek._

'_Be a good boy, Alexander, keep quiet.'_

'_I know you like this. Don't pretend you don't like this, Alexander; I know you do!'_

_His lip curled up into a cruel smile, I knew the worst was yet to come._

_He went over to his cupboard and pulled out a whip. Walking over to me, he raised it up then brought it back down._

I shot up. My heart is pounding. I am coated in sweat.

I am in unfamiliar surroundings. It took me a good few minutes before I realize where I am.

'Alec, are you okay?'

I can't see who it is. I am starting to breathe quicker. I'm beginning to panic. I hear the door slam open, I jump.

I am trying to clear my head; I can't, though. My vision is cloudy.

Someone came in and sat next to me, soothing me. I can't see who it is; I don't want to know who it is.

Another person came and sits down on the other-side of me. I curl up into a ball, leaning closer to them. I tried not to but I couldn't, I let out a sob. After one I just let them out, sobbing into their chest. They were stroking my hair and holding me tight, I needed that. It makes me feel loved, even though I know I couldn't be loved, not after what happened. It is nights like this that makes me want my razorblades. The person who came in first stood up and left us. The other just continued holding me.

* * *

><p><strong>Magnus' POV<strong>

I am awoken by a loud knocking on the door. I turn to look at the time on my phone, 3am. _Who the hell is knocking on my door at this time?_

I start to pull myself out of bed, but by that time my room-mate is at the door. I walk back to my bed and throw myself onto it.

Their talking is hushed, they stop talking and Jace rushes out of the room. I look to see who is at the door; it's Clary's annoying friend, Sherwin? No. Samson? No, that's not it. Simon! Simon was at the door.

I don't bother asking why, I don't really care. I just curl back up and slowly drift off to sleep. I don't hear my room-mate return any time during the night.

* * *

><p><strong>Alec's POV<strong>

I am awoken by my alarm clock at the usual time of 6am. I pull myself out of bed and nearly trip over. Lying by my bed is Jace, who appears to be in a deep slumber. Jace has a blanket wrapped around him, his head on a pile of books; it must not be comfortable. He must have been the one in here last night. I grab the two pillows off my bed and carefully place them under Jace's head, while removing the books. _There, that should be more comfortable for him._

I hastily change into some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I grab my sports bag, room keys, and phone. I check my phone is on this time before placing it in my pocket. I throw on my old black school hoodie, which I got when I was studying at The Institute.

It was a good fifteen minutes run until I reached the gym, which is on the other side of campus. Upon entering the gym, I throw my stuff in a spare locker and go straight up to the treadmill. I stare at it for a good 5 minutes before I do something that surprises me; I turn around and walk out the gym. I keep walking and walk off the school property. I did not know where I was going, I just keep walking.

My walk turns into a run and in a second I instantly know where I am going.

It takes me a whole half an hour at a flat out sprint to get to my destination. I slow down into a walk and take a couple of deep breathes. I look at the place in front of me, 'The Bone City', or as normal people like to call it 'The Cemetery'.

I enter and slowly start to stride towards a certain grave, I know exactly where I'm going, I could be blindfolded and I could still walk to his grave.

I crouch down next to the grave and read the inscription below his name, _'One of the sweetest and caring people who were accused of something they didn't do. His time ended too soon.'_

'Sweetest and caring, my ass,' I mutter. I decide to do something I did not normally do, talk to him. I take a deep breath before starting.

'I know I normally yell some cusses at you normally, today I decided to talk to you. Do you know what you have done to me? You messed me up. I hate you, more than anything. Some people say that hate is a strong word, but someone like you-' I was beginning to yell '-deserves the word. I hate you, want to know why? Because you took something away from me that I wanted to save for someone I loved-' I took a couple of deep breathes '-since you thought I was weak and vulnerable, well you're right, I was. You destroyed me, ruined me. I hate you for that.'

I stood up and walked out the city of bones...I mean cemetery. When I was outside I realized that I was on the verge of having a panic attack.

I try to slow down my breathing. _10…9…8…try to calm yourself, Alec…7…Come on you can do this…7…7…What was next? _I am unable to think straight. I want to be able to handle this without them, my siblings, Jace and Izzy. I don't need Jace or Izzy by my side all the time. I know I need them right now though.

I pull out my phone. Deciding to try Izzy since Jace will worry then will be pissed off at me for going out. I try to text her but my hands are trembling, I didn't notice but I was shaking. I manage to stop long enough to call her. She answers on the second ring. 'Hello? Alec?'

'Iz…Please-' I felt my body shaking again '-come pick me up.'

'Alec, you're worrying me. Where are you?'

I didn't mean to upset her, I hoped she would not ask but now I know she will want to know exactly what happened. I let out a sigh. 'I'm at the old cemetery. You know, the one you call 'Bone City'. Please hurry, Iz.'

My breathing is going back to normal. I continue counting, 6…5…4…

'Oh right, yes. I know the one you are on about. I'll get Jace and-'

I shout out before I realise what I said. 'NO!'

I take a couple of deep breathes. I know what would happen if Jace saw the state I was in. He would never let me out of his sight again. I expand what I was saying, 'No, don't get Jace. He will just worry. Please, Isabelle, don't get him.'

I hear her sigh. 'Fine but I am not happy about this. I'll be there in 5.'

I can think more clearly now. I know that is a good think, though bad at the same time. I know that once Izzy gets here she will want an explanation.

It is exactly five minutes later when she shows up. She pulls the car up beside me and gets out, opening the passenger door for me. 'You better have a god damn good explanation as to why I had to get up at 7 to come to a cemetery, of all places, to pick you up! Why were you even here, at the cemetery?'

I sigh. I know there is no hiding it from her, she will find out eventually, and that much is certain. I know it would be better if I just tell her. 'I'm sorry Iz, I was having one of my off days so I came here to yell at his grave, I ended up not yelling the usual cuss words, though.'

She accepts what I said and enters the car. 'What do you mean by 'not yelling the usual cuss words'? Did you find new ones to call him?'

I roll my eyes. 'No, Izzy. I ended up just talking to his grave…' 3…2…1…

'YOU DID WHAT?!'

'Well, I started with just talking but it turned into yelling by the end. It caused one of my attacks, which is why I needed you to pick me up.'

'Wait…wait…wait…You were talking to a grave?' I nod. 'I am not going to question it.'

I hear her sigh, before starting the car up and beginning to drive back to school. 'We should get back soon before Jace realises we are both gone.'

I sigh. 'I know.'

The drive back was silent, slightly awkward. I stare out the window, admiring the scenery. I wanted to go back to my old school, but I knew that was not possible, they were still waiting for me. I was not safe there.

It is about 5 minutes before we reach the school and, not surprisingly, Jace is stood outside, waiting for us, with an infuriated expression on his face. I brace myself as I got out the car.

'Where the hell have you been?' I flinch. I didn't mean to but it just happens sometimes, Jace just ignores it and keeps talking. 'Do you know how stupid that was, to leave without telling us?'

That last sentence annoys me. I begin to yell back at him. 'I'm older than you, Jace! Older than you! I'm older than both of you!'

I hear him grunt. I snap. 'What is it, Jace?'

I hear him laugh. 'You say you're older than us but a lot of the time we have to act like the older ones!'

'I don't ask you to do that! I don't want you to act like that.'

'You are an ungrateful dick at times, Alec. You know that right?' I flinch at the words he is yelling at me. I walk forward, raise my fist, and slam it into his jaw. He is fazed slightly, before launching forward himself. 'You fucking bastard!' What he says catches me off guard; it is just like something my predator would say. He pins me to the ground and brings his fist to my stomach several times. I feel trapped. My breathing begins to speed up.

'Jace cut it out. Get off Alec!'

It takes Izzy yelling at him, and then pulling him off, to get him off me. He looks at me one time before turning and going back to the dormitories.

Izzy looks at me with an annoyed expression, before turning around and walking into the dormitory.

'Again, I'm alone…' I mumble, so quietly even I don't hear myself.

* * *

><p><strong>Magnus' POV<strong>

I was awoken at the usual time of 7am by the alarm on my phone. I pulled myself out of my bed. Looking across at my room-mate's bed, I realise that he did not return last night or has already left this morning. I groggily walk along to the bathroom to take a shower. I am in the shower a good forty-five minutes before I force myself out, and the only reason I got out was because someone texted me.

I got out the shower to see it was a text from Catarina, my KittyCat, and one of my closest friends.

**KittyCat: r u as tired as I am? cn u bleev dat kid kept us ll ^?!**

[Are you as tired as I am? Can you believe that kid kept us all up?!]

**Me: Cat, what are you on about? I was not kept up.**

**KittyCat:u stil r n Alicante, right? dis nu kid woke ^ n strtd havN a panic ck, it took 4 ppl 2 calm him dwn, n 1 nded ^ spendin d nyt n hs rm.**

[You still are in Alicante, right? This new kid woke up and started having a panic attack, and one ended up spending the night in his room.]

**Me: Yes, still in Alicante. Well you are the prefect, thanks for telling me BTW, so you should have done something.**

**KittyCat: I wz gunA tel u, I swear? whr wr u wen dis wz goin on? Complainin 2 Camille, or Ragnor? No w8, ur nu roomie, right?**

[I was going to tell you, I swear! Where were you when this was going on? Complaining to Camille, or Ragnor? No wait, your new room-mate, right?]

**Me: Neither. I was asleep, KittyCat.**

I turn off my phone before I got a text, from Catarina complaining about how I could sleep through it. I started working with my hair and make-up. I spike up my hair, and adding silver glitter to my hair.

I went to my wardrobe and picked out the perfect outfit, a purple top with sequins and really tight jeans, one of the very few outfits that make me feel sleek. My phone vibrated in my pocket, meaning I got new text.

**Tessa: Are you joining us for breakfast? Alec will be there if that will convince you. x**

I let out a laugh. Tessa has been nagging me since we first met Alec; she believes I have a crush on him. I don't crush on guys, or girls. I simply find him intriguing, nothing more, nothing less. He lets off a mysterious persona; I want to know more about him.

**Me: I'll be there, for the food, not for Alec. Got it?**

**Tessa: Whatever you want to believe. I'll save you a seat. x**

Alec's POV

I storm back to my room to find Jace already in it with Clary and Simon. 'Can a guy not go anywhere for peace?!' I grumble before storming into the bathroom to take a shower.

I run into my room and throw on a faded black jumper and ripped jeans, before pulling out my phone. I sigh.

**(One Missed Call from Parent 1)**

I never see my mother and father as my Mom or Dad so therefore they are Parent 1 and 2. The name has stuck. Parent 1 was my father, while Parent 2 was my mother. I have found that my siblings have saved them under parent 1 and 2 as well.

Jace must have told them about the fight, or Izzy. I put my phone away and look around the room. It was only Simon who was still in the room. I grab my room-key and exit. I am making my way to the library as I hopped it would be generally quiet. I was half way there when I got a text from Izzy.

**Izzy: You are joining us for breakfast. You are not allowed to say no! xxx**

I sigh, I figured she would do something like this but I hoped that she wouldn't.

**Me: Fine but I may take 10 minutes I was going to the library. x**

I have to force myself to put the kiss at the end; if I did not, Izzy would know there was something wrong.

**Izzy: Kk! xxx**

I roll my eyes. Izzy can be so determined at times it is better not to argue with her. I turn back around and stalk off back to Alicante house. Izzy and Jace are waiting outside; Jace still looked infuriated with me. Izzy gives me an apologetic look; I guess she thought Jace would have forgotten about it by now. I give her a small, weak smile to show that I am okay with it.

We turn and walk into the cafeteria.

* * *

><p><span><strong>Magnus' POV<strong>

I notice Alec looked slightly out of it. I looked at Izzy and gave her a questioning look. She shook her head. She pulled out her phone and sent a text.

I look towards Alec who had

My phone began to vibrate in my pocket.

Izzy: Don't ask about it. It is better this way, trust me.

I look towards Izzy and was going to nod to show her I received the text, but she was already in a conversation with Simon. He was trying to tell her the difference between DC and Marvel; this would definitely be an interesting conversation. _They would make a cute couple. I should totally try to get them together,_ I thought.

I looked around the table. Jem was gazing at Tessa, who was arguing with Will over what Charles Dickens book was best. Jace was glaring at Simon, that's it, who was now talking to Clary.

I looked back at my phone, and saw I got another text this morning from Catarina which I didn't read.

**KittyCat: dis freak woke d hol of Alicante hous ^, hw wr u nt awoken Also I tld u nt 2 call me dat, Maggie!**

[This freak woke the whole of Alicante House up, how were u not awoken? Also I told you not to call me that, Maggie!]

**Me: I was awoken, but I didn't bother with them. I fell back asleep. Also don't call me Maggie, KittyCat**

**KittyCat: nt gunA Q hw u slept thru it. Also f u kip callN me KittyCat, Ill kip callN u Maggie, Maggie.**

[Not going to question how you slept through it. Also if you keep calling me KittyCat, I will keep calling you Maggie, Maggie. ]

I noticed I was getting some looks from everyone on the table. "What?" I question.

'Someone's popular today, it makes a change.'

'Will, can you stop being mean?!' I hear Tessa telling him.

'Thank you, Tess. Now William, just because I am more popular than you, does not mean you have to act like a dick to me.' I say with a smirk planted on my face.

I heard him huff and a mumbled 'You're not more popular than me.' I chuckle. Next thing I know Tessa and Will are having a disagreement over Charles Dickens' books, again.

Jace and Isabelle have clearly forgotten about their brother who looks very awkward, sitting with us. His siblings walked off. Jace has walked off to join the sluts, probably to hook up with one, while Isabelle walked away and sat with the jocks, probably to hook up with one. Alec has gone pale and so I decide in that moment to convince him to eat somewhere else with me. I shuffled up so I was sat next to him.

'Hello, Alec.'

He jumped. I didn't mean to make him jump. I didn't realize he was that jumpy, I probably should have done, to be fair, especially after what happened last time I talked to him.

'He...Hello.'

He looked incredibly nervous, and the stutter, it clearly was brought on by nerves.

I calmly asked, 'Do you want to join me to eat in my room?'

'NO! I me...mean...no, sor...sorry.'

His response did not surprise me; he probably did not want to go in my room because of what happened last time.

'Would your room be any better?' He shook his head. 'How about I grab us a bagel and coffee each, then we go eat in the library?'

He looks like he is thinking, before he sighs. It made me believe that he was going to say no again. 'Okay, fine. I'll join you.'

'Great, how do you take your coffee?'

'Black. No sugar.'

_That must taste really bitter, I couldn't drink that. _I bought the coffees and bagels and handed his to him. We walked to the library and went to sit in a secluded section.

We sat down and he started to sip his coffee. He seems to have relaxed, since going somewhere quieter with less people. He still seems distant, not completely relaxed. 'Is everything okay, Alec?'

He jumps, like he forgot I was here. He nods, slowly. 'Th...thank..you for the...erm...coffee and bagel'

'It's no problem, darling.'

We both grab a book each and begin reading. It's silent, perfect. It stays like this for a while, until I decide to stand up and walk over to the bookshelf.

'What are you...erm...looking for?' He asks me nervously, his stuttering has gotten better, though.

I pull out the book I was looking for. 'This.'

He looks at me, sceptically. 'Any specific reason why?'

'I wanted to show you something.' I handed him the book, which I had flipped over to a page. I read out a section of the book _"Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason."_

Once I stop reading, Alec grabs the book and turns it over. _'The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon' _he read.

I let out a small smile. 'Whenever I felt myself struggling I would bring out this book and read it, only when I really needed it. I never finished reading it, I stopped needing it.'

A chirp comes from Alec's phone but he ignores it. He looks at me, 'You don't look like you have ever gone through a struggle.'

I notice that his stutter has gone; it makes me smile because I knew he is not as nervous being around me.

I laugh. 'You would be surprised. I wasn't always like this, you know.'

'I understand that, I wasn't always the way I am now.'

Before I could say anything, my phone quacks, I received a text. I opened it to see it was from Izzy.

**Izzy: I'm gathering a search party. I can't find my brother. He isn't answering his phone. I haven't seen him since breakfast this morning!**

I roll my eyes, before I check what time it was. My eyes widen when I see what time it is, 16:30.

'Alec, it's your sister. She's gathering a search party, since she hasn't seen you in over 6 hours.'

He frowns. 'You do realize she is serious, right?'

'She is?' he nods, and I sigh. 'Was she the one you were receiving a text from earlier?' another nod. 'Your brother will probably beat me up when he finds out you are here with me, won't he?' he shrugs. I raise an eyebrow, _something must have happened between the two_. I don't question it though. 'We should let them know you are okay.' This time it is Alec who sighs.

'I suppose you are right.'

'I'm always right, Darling.' I hear him laugh, that is one of the first times I have heard him laugh. His laugh is angelic. I have to ask him, 'do you want to send the text, or should I?'

I see Alec sigh. 'You should, I will get an earful from Izzy about not responding to any of her texts.'

His response makes me laugh. 'Okay, sending the text now.'

**Me: Don't bother with the search party, Alec's with me.**

I look at Alec. He seems annoyed. 'Alec, are you okay?' He sighs, and then laughs.

'No, no I'm really not.'

'Do you want to talk about it?' I knew the answer already though; I knew he would say no.

'Not really, no.' I sighed, _knew it._

I picked the book up and put it back on the shelf. 'Do you want me to walk you back to your room?'

He sighs. 'Sure. I have to warn you though; Izzy is going to be waiting for me there.'

I laugh before picking up my now empty coffee cup. 'I think we can handle her.'

Alec looks at me, his blue eyes full of emotion. I love his eyes, a deep blue. You know the saying, the eyes are the window to the soul, and it's true. Alec's eyes tell you something different than what he tells you.

I look at Alec while we are walking to his dorm. 'You know, if you ever want to talk about anything, you can come speak to me.'

I see a small smile form, but it is quickly turned back to his usual frown. 'Thanks, but I'm fine.'

I suddenly remember the events of the other day and I feel the urge to ask how he got in my room in the first place. I turn to look at him and think carefully before I ask. 'Alec, how did you even get in my room the other day?'

He kept walking and casually stated that 'Jace gave me his spare room key so I can get in and out of his room easily.' I presume it is because of the way he has become.

'Alec?' I hear him sigh.

'What is it, Magnus?'

'What happened between you and Jace? You were friends one day and now you two act like you hate each other.'

I hear him sigh. I hit a soft spot. 'We got into a fight this morning-'

I think I mishear what he says so I butt in just to check that I heard him right. 'You and Jace got into a fight?' He nods. I have to ask. 'Do you mean like a physical fight? Or do you mean verbal?'

I hear him sigh, again. 'Physical. That's not important. Can we talk about something else?' He was pleading. I let out a sigh, before nodding.

'Your siblings and some friends are going to Pandemonium, a club, on Friday to celebrate surviving the first week back, are you joining us? Do you want to join us?' He shrugs.

'My siblings never tell me these things so I always end up not going.' I nod.

We were about a ten minute walk from Alicante and the sky is going a dark grey colour, water is trickling down now. I sigh. _Great, once we get back to Alicante I will be drenched and will need to pick out a new outfit._

I'm about to say something but Alec beats me to it. 'We should hurry back, don't want to be out too long.'

'Great, let's hurry.'

* * *

><p><strong>Alec's POV<strong>

I am surprising relaxed. I know I should be keeping my guard up, but I find it difficult when I am with him, he makes me feel safe. Magnus and I arrived back at Alicante house in record time. When we entered everyone seemed to be panicking. I can make a good guess at what. There is a smell of burning. I approach a freshman who looks slightly worried. 'What the hell is going on?'

'You're Izzy's brother right?' I nod, knowing where this is going. 'Your sister is in the kitchen!'

I back up and head to the kitchen. Izzy waving a dish cloth around, trying to stop the smoke alarm. 'Isabelle Sophia Lightwood, what the hell did I tell you about going anywhere near the kitchen?!'

She turned to face me, a smile planted on her face. 'Alec, you're back! Come try something I made.'

She picks up a tray and brings it over. It is completely charred. 'Thanks, Izzy, but I'm fine. Now seriously, I told everyone you are not allowed anywhere near the kitchen. Who let you in?'

She casually stood up and started to wash the pots that she had used to make her…food? If that is even what you would call it. 'Now, tell me where you where, Alec! Give me all the details.' I roll my eyes, typical Izzy.

'You're stalling. I'll find out anyway. It was Jace, wasn't it?'

'So are you. Also, no it wasn't Jace, after the incident with the soup; he won't let me go near the kitchen, let alone inside it.'

I laugh. 'Of course, I forgot about the soup incident.'

'What's this about a soup incident? I'm intrigued'

I turn to face the door of the kitchen, Magnus still stood there, looking awkward. I had forgotten that he was there. Izzy rushed forward 'Magnus thank you for returning my brother. If you had left him he would have made a run for it!'

I snort and mumble 'would not…'_ my siblings have so much trust towards me, note the sarcasm. _

Magnus just smiles and ignores the last half of the sentence 'It's no problem, Isabelle. Also it was me who suggested the library, not Alec.'

She raises an eyebrow. 'You convinced him to go somewhere with you, how peculiar?'

Magnus just laughs. 'Now, what is this about a soup incident?'

Izzy rolls her eyes. 'Everyone blames me for it, it was not my fault!'

I let out a small laugh, not loud enough for anyone to hear. 'You burnt the soup.'

I hear her mumble 'anyone could do that.'

I roll my eyes. 'Izzy, you were using a microwave and your soup landed Jace in the hospital with food poisoning.' I turn to Magnus as I say the last part 'she somehow also managed to blow the microwave up in the process and has not been allowed anywhere near the kitchen since.'

Izzy snorts. 'That was not my fault. It was church's fault!'

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. 'Who's church?' I hear Magnus ask.

'He's our cat.'

'Ooh, you have a cat? I used to have one but had to give them away when the school started as I had nobody to care for them.'

'I'm sorry that you had to get rid of your cat.'

Magnus shrugs, 'I'll get another one in the future.' I look at Magnus funny, at his reaction to being able to replace his cat easily. 'Wait, wait, wait, why is it your cat's fault?'

I cross my arms and face Izzy. 'Go on, tell him the reason.'

'He was hungry!'

'I had just fed him.'

'Did not.'

'Did too'

'Did not'

'Did t-'

Magnus cuts of the argument, 'Enough with the arguing. Alec, get Izzy out of the kitchen while I clean away the…erm…Food, what is this anyway?'

'Soup.'

'IZZY, YOU MADE SOUP, WHY?!' Jace burst through the door, after clearly listening into our conversation. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Once I managed to stop myself laughing, I walk over to Izzy and direct her away from the kitchen. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Once I managed to stop myself laughing, I start to walk to the door. 'I'm going to my room; don't bother coming to find me for dinner.'

I mouth a 'thank you' to Magnus on my way out.

I drag Izzy to the living room before turning and heading to my room. I decide to check my messages on Facebook quickly before I head to bed since tomorrow is the first day of school.

**Sebastian Verlac to Alec Lightwood** Thank good you are gone. Now I don't have to see the fag again. I promise you won't be missed. **(Meliorn Knight, Kaelie Whitewillow and 143 others like this)**

**Meliorn Knight to Alec Lightwood** Thank the angel you are gone. Now I don't have to look at your ugly face any more. **(Sebastian Verlac, Kaelie Whitewillow and 124 others like this)**

**Helen Blackthorn to Alec Lightwood** I'm so sorry you left, how will I survive without you? Heard you were going to **Aline** **Penhollow**'s school though. I'll tell her to look out for you, love yah. Xx **(Izzy Lightwood, Aline Penhollow and 5 others like this)**

I let out a sigh as I knew things would never change; I was still the freak. I kept searching through posts about me on Facebook for several hours; I did not realise it was that long, though. I decide to grab something to eat from the kitchen, and then call it a night.

I arrived back in my room to find Simon was on his laptop on his bed. He looked up. 'Hello, Alec.' I give him a nod of my head, before I go to the bathroom and change into my pyjamas. I curl up into bed and brace myself for what was yet to come. I know school was going to be difficult and I will probably struggle. I also know that I am not going to get a full night sleep, like every other night. I close my eyes and wait for darkness to take over.

'Let's hope Jace forgives me before tomorrow or I will struggle.'

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><p><strong>Warnings: Rape, Homophobia.<strong>

**Please Review.**

**I need your opinions; do you think this is Angst or Hurt/Comfort? **


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